Resource Author Francisco R. Higueras
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For a world that seems to have the fast-forward button pressed indefinitely, slowing down aspects of parenting may just be the right idea.
While my own background at the time included a great deal of education and training on numerous issues impacting both boomers and seniors regarding their health, wealth and lifestyles, like you, I wasn’t even close to being fully prepared to deal with the dozens of problems facing my mom and our family as her disease began to affect her life. Nor was I ready for the impact that Mom’s illness would have upon my time, my energy and my life.
We have responsibility for leading a child into responsible self-conduct, but that does not include lashing out at a child as the cause of our sense of overwhelm. Imposing a demand, expectation or standard upon the child that she cannot live up to, makes her confused, and a confused child displays lower performance than one who has a clear sense of herself and believes in her ability to make appropriate choices.
In fact, when you react with a show of much stress and strain to a child’s behavior, the child derives from that a sense of power over you, a loss of respect for you, and a loss of trust in you that encourages him to do that again, however harsh your reaction.
“Slow parenting is about bringing balance into the home,” Honore explained to the Times. “Children need to strive and struggle and stretch themselves, but that does not mean childhood should be a race. Slow parents give their children plenty of time and space to explore the world on their own terms”.
The next step is to apply the awareness and self-control you need to maintain your peace, poise and power in the present so that you can align your responses with the results you want instead of reacting in blind frustration.
When life feels too hard, it’s time to take it easier, to trust, to let go, to lighten up. Stepping up the pressure on yourself makes you blow up, it does not help your child grow up. You cannot instill better self-control in a child while you are losing yours.
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